the burlesque poetess(s)


i'm jojo lazar, each and every one of your/s burlesque poetess(s) ~ vaudeville/verse upon request for all your parlour room seance needs.
@poetesss >> quoi?/qui?/info >> secretwitter req's/table of contents

>> poem a day >> (tumblr archive) ~ (asssk) bloglovin
~ Monday, November 8 ~
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poem-a-day week25 “Confounding but fun-sounding!”

October 18-24, 2010 week25: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
http://locksmithy.livejournal.com/tag/poem-a-day
http://poetesss.tumblr.com/PAD

Tales of Polish bday week/month of more shows than sleep, decadence and melty fondue memories of floral wreathlets that don’t slip off your halo. In close decisions equally-worthy of being the teaser-poem— read my bday poem & my 2nd-to-last cabaret-busk poem, as it has vidjo!

170. October 21, 2010 (thurs., after the witching hour still out singing/being bday noisy…)
Half-and-half & nostalgia in mine


Creep out the garden gate
To all tomorrow’s fondess
Shit, someone got the flower girl

Drunk, wreathlet askew in all these photos
Fear is not endearing, a little wine blush
On the knees, dandelion smile

The cork-pop and laughter over the tear
-jerker toast, something shiny crunching underfoot
While dyed-to-match shoes rub identical

Blisters on the foxes fleeing the dance floor
That scene where “gin-pagne”
And knock-you-on-your-ass applejack

Have happened— be glad the parties
You leave still exhale aftershave and warm
Frivolity, indoor parodies of drum circles

A kind of goosing, unlacing flirting
That sparky new pair in the coat closet
That old story smoking on the front stoop

Throw some stray petals (or lime wedges)
Over your left shoulder for luck
Tomorrow there won’t be empty milk
Bottles waiting outside

poem in part inspired by the wonderful bitty floral wreath-let dangling ribbons my dear photog friend Justin Moore gifted me. pix of me being a drunk flower girl/flapperlet (it stays on even crooked) i’m sure will turn up. (past, present, future) et voila: Wreathlet profile

the rest of the poems li(v)e below!

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Tags: bdays tiny instruments army of broken toys busking partiesoirees Decadence poem a day food intoxicants my art halloweenie
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~ Tuesday, August 24 ~
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poem-a-day week15 recapping the “retrosexual”

August 9-15, 2010 week15: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
http://locksmithy.livejournal.com/tag/poem-a-day
http://poetesss.tumblr.com/PAD

i’ve decided like that no-good army of TOys band i’m in (who defines its genre as steam crunk) i’d like the tiny instruments to be categorized as “retrosexual.” all of last-last week was spent gearing up for the tiny instruments’s premiere (pix/poem for that!) and palling about with The Slomski Brothers on the new england leg of their epic world tour. thus, the poem-a-days reflect that. not a bad week, eh? all art and delicious vaudevillian-ry.

i feel paparazzi'd

104. August 14, 2010 (sat. - Boudoir Noir, Club Passim)

Listen to Madam
Match-make celibate carnies
Shut the wardrobe door

Don’t flash your netting
It’s not presidential red
Lips that will catch fish

Teacup-shaped escapes
Sidestage— no one cares ‘bout tush
A lighter, a light

Alleyway, butts’ flight
Scraped together etiquette
Rubbish bins, torn words

Chocolate shout outs
A bourgie to-go box, please
Save tupperware sin

Table of foxes
Crumbling five hours of butter
Into martini’d mouths

Glitter sticks to pillow slips
Now, purse your lips

Boudoir Noir.Boudoir Noir

the rest of the poems li(v)e below!

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Tags: vaudeville tiny instruments retrosexual histophile poem a day debauchery Decadence fauxku art
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~ Thursday, July 29 ~
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poem-a-day week12 (lots of cats)

SPANKIN’ new poem-a-day ultimate table of contents/archive
—-> http://poetesss.tumblr.com/PAD

July 19-25, 2010, week12: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

being the hermit-poet turned social leads to silly poem-a-days! teaser be-low.

83. July 24, 2010 (sat.)

At B’s i meet Malloy cat the second, chic in
double-breasted black, radiator perched. Shy
with a silken proud tuft, a white pocket square.

B. and i discuss the intricacies, trickiness
of having a nude portrait of yourself in your
shared apt. parlour. We’re not prudes, but

i understand it’s hard to read poetry on a screen.
All the more reason to cross-stitch by your
side on the sofa, leave you with double-entendre
knotted stanzas.

nibletfold

At S’s, it’s tuxedo beast Boris the cat
(that does not get along with other cats)
lying in the doorjamb, inky tail(s)
and mother of pearl toes ready to trip you.

Jeweled fruit soaked in the bottom
of the sangria punch bowl makes everyone
smile orange peel, tell tales of elementary

school spin the bottle, fourth grade boyfriends.
Lounging under Bernini statuary
posters brings back dark lusty art

history lectures. “i don’t care, i have a rosy
-tinted, vegan, pornographic hue’d vision
of what’s to come for you in Austin!”

And yes, C. you’re learning that one
only overhears such fragments
from me— surely you misheard.


psst. the kitties want you to check out my e-merch table(tsy).

the rest of the poems li(v)e below!

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Tags: day in versery food movie-fluenced poem a day Decadence tiny instruments
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~ Tuesday, July 20 ~
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

i just took more advantage of the wonderful macbook/internetz age than i ever have before and made a quick recording of myself reading my latest-writ poem-a-day. since i don’t know how to host/embed mp3’s on LJ, you fair tumblr readers get to read/hear it first before the weekly archive. lucky you! please pardon my lisp (no really, and how i run out of breath at the word ‘getaway’) and of course the fine somerville sirens that come in kind of appropriately at the end. i’d read it out loud a few times to hear what needed revising, and since it helped me out so much i decided…it’s time to share in a new way. xojojo


74. July 15, 2010 (thurs.)

We link snakeskin arms, shimmy frillies
lower, reveal more sequins on our ungirdled
silhouettes. Left-strut, right-hip, titty-hop— i trip!

A ballerina makes a modern dance jeté
the buzzer goes off and off, sound equiv’
to the vaudevillian devil’s crook

shepherding you offstage, a rain of tomato
curtains crowing at your stocking runs. Run!
i bolt awake from the black light night

-mare of doing a group burlesque routine
for feather’d flesh, for realzies! It’s not until we pack
the car to return to Boston, guessing at what’s

sitting on the trunk, small turnips? Sugar cane?
Live garlic, you say?
—we learn the appalling audience
sound was just Papa putting his father’s WW I

dock alarm? Atrocious noise-maker under our bed
-room window. (i’m grateful it wasn’t the 20 year old
firecracker hazards like the day before.)

They were trying to shake us from humid sheets,
but we thought it was the fan, a frantic unplugging’d
made the sound go away, surely the old folks know

you want to spend the after hours of family getaway
being romantico, mixing drinks while everyone sheep sleeps,
dancing in the night light’s buttery halo, kissing and wishing
each other sweet green room roses, falling asleep holding
hands, a cork and matches under our pillow.

Tags: audio pardon my lisp poem a day Decadence love romantical one take wonder
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~ Monday, July 19 ~
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poem-a-day week10 (bugbite polka dots)

SPANKIN’ new poem-a-day ultimate table of contents/archive just made!
—-> http://poetesss.tumblr.com/PAD

(no more icky huge headers!)

July 5-11, 2010, week10: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

poem/days of ridonk & “only in Boston”/adventures note: thurs.’s amanda palmer ninjagig, sat. at cloud club improv ORG soiree, and sun. was Dr. Sketchy’s w. DalyaduSunshine! an individ’ tumble on that/all my drawings is to come.

this week’s above-the-cut is tales of bugbites take2 of 3, friday 7/9’s lovely Bacchanal birthday in Lincoln, MA. the jolly hobos had finished the gin by the time we got to this backyard by the railway station, but the ambience was amazing, obviously…and have a gratuitous/bonus steampunk pic of the bday girl, Eowyn. just for tumblr, by the magical Justin Moore.

68. July 9, 2010 (fri.)
Time for a quick ritual before bedtime

My backseat covered in Indian print tapestry,
R’s bike upside down in my hatch back, gooseflesh
from the AC and Braille bug bites rise to the touch.

The meat tent unattended, set up in the back yard
Bacchanal by the rail road tracks, the birthday
girl with the heavy metal kitchen accessories

we kissed twice for her giant Hepburn hat and pink
ukulele was squishing mosquitos with her cat
‘s help when we left. All her friends/guests’ blood

spatters, smaller than lipstick kisses on gift
cards appear on her ceiling, above the antique
bottles and inherited sideboard. We were sorry

to leave the full bar and the liquid tea candles,
but it seemed to be time…


(via booooooom.com’s contest)

the rest of the poems li(v)e below!

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Tags: poem a day week in versery Decadence debauchery Justin Moore
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~ Friday, July 10 ~
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collaborative ustream/twitter poem!

Recovery Sunday (5 July 2009)


July 4th found me watching paddleboats scream

at the sight of large posteriors. I ran in fear

from croquet balls, approaching rednecks, Roman candles

flexing their pectorals. I plead, “I need to garden. Yes, in yours.”

Hand off the pungently lemon, nasty OFF

Spray’d baby, a noxious garnish to the Sangria.

I can already hear the water-cooler bubbling,

overhung Monday, “That’s when she offered me

her two twelve-year-old girls. ‘They have great doweries.’”

Ghoulishly digging among neglected flower beds,

I am trying to scare you,

the Pimm’s cups, and gravity bongs away.

The hot dogs lurch toward my stomach from the grill.

I could lick the sweat off your spine to get high.


She would have watermelon seeds dripping down her chinny chin.

Sousa nostalgia wafts over the smell of sweet burns, skin,

fat women sink into the Boston sounds.

Kudos referred to her shoes as “the getting laid Chuck Norris’s.”

She laughs at his knock-off Kicks (he’s penniless as Charon at first crossing).

When the plate of melon passed she felt her mouth fill

with boiling water. She spit out stars.

“I’m already too memorable to warrant a nickname.”


Thumper would tear you in two, I thought

watching bleached hand-me-down

wife-beaters chase one another, shriek, “Come on! Pants me!”

One nearly lights his sister’s (rayon) tube top

with a sparkler. She shifts, cradles the bottle

of vodka against her distant-most (silicone) breast and hisses.

She will not worry about the fire.

“What can you catch on your tongue?” comes from

the other side of the tree. El jardin explotar y su captura.

Stranger’s fingertips on soft hairs rang bells in her ears.

I cannot understand his tense

shoulders, sentences in knots—

the adjectival construct of love always falls flat.


The plastic butterfly took wing and landed on the clothesline.

But that was of course after the whiskey

lit its fourth joint.

I was so hungry I cried, my pink bread

cried strawberry jam, I burnt my tongue.

The singing tooth has lost its voice—

she demonstrated poise, a boulder sealed her mouth closed.

I watched fireworks in her sunglasses’ reflection

she looked like she wept bloody rainbows,

Her eyebrows said, “Hurry before you get caught!”

The party feared her overlarge potatoes would explode.


My drink tasted like the waves sounded, distant

yellow threes add up to greens. Grassy margaritas.

Hands indulge in the brisk bitter tang,

our efforts to contact the dead. 1812 overtures of key parties,

“Mary said it wasn’t me. She said your bedroom.”

(She actually had said she sadly had to leave, happily

to fuck her spouse.) But you have your pick of the ghosts of patriots past

making the migration home with startled umbrellas.

The other side of the river, where everyone knows the best views

allow for enough space to learn to lick your elbow.

Uncle Sam’s suspenders smile upon his friends.

+

we all pseudo-obeyed the *20 lil’ poetry projects form to get our minds extra surreal-rolling. not that we needed much help. july 5th people. owie. ginger ale! i of course molded/molested/altered and combined/recombined— and in general got your suggestions/quotes drunk. and here they are— the cast list, this poem was writ and inspired from/with donations of verse/debauch from the following fabulous folks:

@waltersickert, @armyoftoys, @persephassa, @teruterukama, @sinxkitten, @cabaret_kitty, @drauh, @mergyeugnau, @shakti672, @wigglewarily, @one_bloody_poet

thank you guys. i will get to work on creating something ziney/arty to commemorate/propagate this project!

Tags: collab debauchery decadence festivities 20 lil poetry projects
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